God help us if we ever see this sight.
Last night I had a terrible dream. Just one of those awful, terrifying, wake up in a cold sweat type of dreams.
I dreamt that everything I thought about the running back competition was completely wrong. I dreamt that even with seven running backs in contention, and two really phenomenal freshman in the mix, and all that competition…the running game just never comes together. I dreamt that two of them got hurt, one with like an ACL and another with something absurd like a toe injury that slows them down all season, and one of the freshman get redshirted. Then one of the backs goes to special teams to return kicks, but gets whacked in the Central Michigan game and fumbles the football on the 15 yard line with two minutes to go in the game, setting up a Chippewa score at the last second to drop MSU to 1-1 on the year.
And then the other four just don’t produce. They average 2.3 yards per carry, as a group. They can’t hit the holes, because well, there are no holes. The offensive line is as porous as a sieve. Nichol can’t get the pass game opened up, because the opposing defense can just keep seven guys in the box and still shut down the run. He scrambles to open things up and try to make plays, but ends up getting smashed into the turf by Obi Ezeh in the first half of the Michigan game and realizes later in the locker room that he doesn’t remember how to tie his shoes, what his name is or why he’s trying to open a Gatorade bottle with his jockstrap.
Oh, and did I mentioned Coach D was wearing a Snuggie? Yeah, he’s wearing a Snuggie.
Anyway, don’t do peyote before bed in the preseason. That’s all.
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